Today

Wonderful things are happening. unspeakable things. Things that I have waited my entire academic life for. Dreams I have painted in bright colored strokes.. I am crossing the line, the line I so patiently walked for years. and as I sit here, I am reminded how wonderful this moment is. To be here now, presently, and to know that this moment, this point in my life i will look back on vividly... it makes me strive to live the rest of my life this way. To live every day in a way that you allow yourself to be here now.

So often we are some place else. Entering a new chapter only looking forward to see how long until the next. Recently, I am present. There is this theory in behaviorism, called 'incompatible behaviors'. When trying to break a habit, different things can get in the way, such as negative reinforcement. In some occasions, the order is tall, and time is of the essence (isn't it always?). Which allows incompatible behaviors to do what we can so often not. If you will, its stacking your own deck.

My deck is stacked. With wanderlust heavy on my trail I needed to do something. And do something I did. I have stacked my life with incompatible behaviors. Behaviors that are not conducive to being somewhere else, but 'to being here now', to relishing this wonderful moment. So I'll cut to the chase. I needed to define more than the blanket 'case of wanderlust'. What did I miss? I missed trying new things, I missed the feeling of being out of my comfort zone, I missed the challenge of navigating the unexpected. So guess what?

Ballet- starts Monday. Yes, that's right. Birds of the same feather flock together.
Learning to knit- Check.
Volunteering for a Foundation that promotes healthy behaviors? Done and done.
Taking a blast from the past and doing another marathon for charity? Check.
Making a list of all the places I haven't been in this wonderful city that I want to? Check! Ice skating, Chazen, Botanical Gardens, Symphonies (student discount, whoop whoop!).

And before I knew it, I was here now. I am EXCITED for my life. I am here NOW.

What else? I miss seeing new cultures, hearing new languages, and seeing their customs. I am so bothered by the disparities occurring in my life time that I have plans to change them. Big ones. And unfortunately, these are the things I cannot discuss... they are on the brink of unfolding, and my breath is held until the ink is dry. I can say though, that its about to turn the whole ball of wax atop itself, and I CANNOT wait.

Stack your lives full of incompatible behaviors. And soon you'll realize you're right on your way, and right where you should be. Stack the deck. Everyone else is.


As for today...I am here now, and it is lovely.