There's no escaping it

Any trepidation I was feeling about coming back up to Door County had much more to do with the fact that I'd have a tray in my hand and 17 coffees to fill than it did with the land itself.

A large part of me was dragging my emotional heels all the way into ground. I didn't think that I would have the energy or mindset to do another summer of 'waiting'. I know this probably sounds absurd to anyone who has never been in the serving industry, but here's a little secret- there's ALOT more to it than meets the eye, including yet not limited to snapping, yelling, excuse me'ing', stiffing, burping, ignoring and any other general annoyance I would normally not surround myself with.

Before I left, I was POSITIVE the 'shoe wouldn't fit'. Last summer was my 'last summer', how & why was I doing this to myself again?! I felt I'd outstretched that point in my life.

And then I took a breath. Literally, just allowed myself to take a breath, because you know what? Waitressing.. that hard job of serving both wonderful people and total slobs their food? It's a choice. As is my reaction to it. So done and done. Aside from silly stories, my energy will be spent elsewhere.

What I realized is this. The shoe more than just fits. It's my foot. As I ride my bike through winding hills with crest fulls of branches talking in my ear, or I look up and out into bay, I am reminded, that I am Door County, as much as I am anything else. It's the ridges in my palm, the arch of my back. A giant circle, I was crazy to think I could undo by simply 'not waitressing'.

As I stood with Nell, Jacob, Rose, and Erik, we watched the sky go from blue to gray to purple. Purple and green. The SKY.. The temperature dropped and the wind picked up blanketing us in its chill. The water, crystal clear and calm was now rippling, eventually forming waves. Funnel clouds formed and dissipated, and I stood at the edge of our pier inhaling the smell of the rain that would reach us in minutes. And as that squall line was about to hit us I was so alive and so sure of my place on this planet and how I was spending my time I resolved I'd serve coffee until I was digging my grave if these moments could repeat themselves over and over for the rest of my life.