Away we go.

Today is our last day in Barcelona, and it is official- time is flying. I can't stand it. Once the weather is perfect and the days are long, they slip through your fingers at twice the speed. It also doesn't help that last night we sat down and mapped out the rest of our trip!!

It looks a little something like this:


Granada, Spain
Seville, Spain
Lisbon, Portugal
Porto, Portugal
San Sebastian, Spain
Madrid, Spain

Where is time going, and where is the pause button?! Most nights are in some way disrupted with my thoughts. I'll be so tired, yet wide awake, recollecting my experiences, wishing to reverse our loop. It's one of those times when they say, 'you don't realize what you have until it's gone.' Well, what if you realize BEFORE it's gone?! I don't know if you're all the better. Will I continue to value keeping and finding hobbies?, will I put myself at the top of a good share of my lists?, will I still be able to find the right amount of time for myself amidst the chaos? Or will all those just go to the wind?.... I hope not.

I have been so extradordinarily out of my comfort zone for the last 6 months, that uncomfort is now comfort. I no longer need to have everything planned out, know EXACTLY what every moment of the next 6 hours entails, and when our next train will be 2 weeks from now. Did I mention that we don't even have our train to Granada for TOMORROW?! I can't help but smile, who is this lady I've become!


In all honesty, I just really like myself now. That sounds SOO cliche, but it's so true. I like who I am, and what I believe in. I've met so many people here that have directly challenged so many things about me, and I've directly and indirectly shown myself who I am, and that yea, that is EXACTLY what I want out of my life. I am slowly finding that many of the truths that governed my life and my existence before this, weren't my own. They weren't my rules. They weren't my anything. They didn't necessarily produce any feeling, just kind of kept me in line, going with the flow.

I know less about life than ever. BUT, the things I do know.. the few things I do know, are more true and real to my heart than a million rules set before. EVERYONE has a different end goal- money, fame, wealth, happiness, travels, children, religion.. any combination of those things. But to live my life according to anyone's fundamentals but my own.. well, I suppose that makes sense that it doesn't produce the same results.


In many ways I've heard this trip as the 'Madeline show' or the 'Erik show' because we took it for ourselves. I would argue on the contrary. Before I left, I was SO busy, it was as if I had on huge blinders. I knew everything that was expected of me, where I was suppose to be, what I was suppose to do, every minute of the next six hours before bed. And if I was awake enough at the end of the day, I was organizing the rest of the week.

Not once- and I only realize this now- did I have the opportunity to look at how I functioned other than just as Madeline. Although our time here has been on a independent level, the independence is so concentrated that it becomes full circle. You examine yourself aside from your independence, how you function in a community/village/city (where ever we were inhabiting), how we function within that country, and within that world. I was AMAZED at the things I saw. For example, I thought I was pretty waste conscious at home, always recycling.. trying to opt out of the to go cup. When you travel and eating is one of your main goals of the day, the amount that you waste is kind of exacerbated. How all the packaging, and all of the things 'out of your control' really add up.. and how different from that I want to be.

I know I'm blubbering and this is a series of really random thoughts, but on to Granda where the pillow talk continues!