Audrey meet Fiona

A great wrap up of a great belly laughing conversation I had with Erik:


When I closed my eyes 6 months ago I was in Europe. I was dancing through the streets wearing all of my finest garb. My hair was done daily, I had chaps tick and beautiful long eyelashes from great mascara. I had elegant shoes that were perfectly inconspicuous, and I would probably need my picture taken at EVERY moment near EVERY monument... because darling, I WAS Audrey Hepburn. Live and in person!!!!! My eyebrows were Picasso's, perfectly constructed and maintained. My collar neatly trimmed as if my butler just left my room the moment before we stepped onto the street.

Well Audrey, I'd like you to meet Fiona. Oh, you aren't familiar with Fiona? Fiona, the female Shrek. She's your alter ego, the one who will be representing you on your journey through Europe. Yes, I know. You're shocked. But you just need to breathe. You'll find its unnecessary and time wasting to do your hair. It belongs under a hat and it's pretty windy. I'm afraid it's futile to wear mascara because it finds a home below your eyebrow and on your cheeks rather than your lashes. Every new outfit you wear is another that needs to be washed.. and I know this is hard sweetie, but you can't fit any long johns underneath that dress you packed. I'm afraid a cobbler stole your good shoes. But to look on the upside, he left you a pair of mostly useless brown boots. AND! Brown does go with black...well, we can pretend it does. Those plastic bags you wear inside your boots? Well.. just think of it this way! People who comment on the swishing and crunching coming from your boots are too materialistic and not worth your time anyway. As long as you shower daily (which I do), just rock what you have.. and REMEMBER- losing your shape under your layers is alot better than REALLY losing your shape.


See it all makes sense! Audrey, meet Fiona... get comfortable, you'll be together for a while. It's the new you for a few months!




......Now, why don't you get over near St. Charle's Bridge and smile BIG for the camera?!:)